


It Started With the Dreams

by Elle_Song



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Longing, Love, Painful readjusting, This is what happens when you travel in time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-04
Updated: 2013-07-04
Packaged: 2017-12-17 16:44:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/869742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elle_Song/pseuds/Elle_Song
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe it was his artistic side, but Steve had always been a bit of a dreamer. In the 21st century, his dreams are always about her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Started With the Dreams

It started with the dreams. These usually began with her talking softly to him. Sometimes she said important things, meaningful words that would ring in his mind for days. Other times she sounded almost flippant, like they spoke often.

She could be chiding, but in a sweet sort of way. "Steve,” she’d begin, and he could almost hear the eye roll, “You are the most meticulous man I have ever met. It's a good thing you secretly know that you're gorgeous to begin with or I'd never get you out this door. Your tie looks fine; don’t fuss.” And then, “Here, let me fix it for you.”

These conversations usually sounded like they took place on the go. She was a girl who liked to move, after all. “Come along, love,” she’d say, “They're waiting. Bucky's got a new girl on his arm tonight. He'd never admit it, but I’m sure he’s hoping for your best friend approval. Got to make sure she’s smart enough to appreciate him but not smart enough to run away." Bucky was alive in his dreams too, of course. Steve needed him in a different way than he needed Peggy but they both had to be there.

After a few lines like this, the visual aspect would kick in.

He would see her in profile or with her back turned to him at first. It was a view he was rather used to. There had been many afternoons when they were working together where he would glance over at her as she was filling out forms or chewing out a corporal. He’d get so caught up in Peggy, glorious being that she was, that his glance would turn into a stare. He wouldn’t even realize how long he’d been studying her until she'd turn and catch his eye, one pert eyebrow raised. 

Steve’d duck his head and blush like a schoolgirl, turning back to whatever papers he was supposed to be focusing on. But he knew that she knew he’d been watching and that was enough to keep the tips of his ears pink for the rest of the afternoon. He wasn’t afraid of her, and nervous wasn’t quite right either, but he was definitely awed. She was his superior. His first feelings for her had been respect and he doubted that’d ever go away. Getting caught by her was a mix of getting caught being bad by the cutest girl in school and the smart young teacher.

Sometimes, when his dreams were short, all he’d see of her was her back and he’d get barely a glance of the way her dark hair tickled against her neck before he’d wake. If he was lucky and the dream was long, she’d turn and catch him staring, just like in the old days. Only this time they weren’t at work and she had no reason to act professional. 

Sometimes the moments after he was caught were very detailed - she’d come on over and run her fingers through his hair or sit down boldly on his lap. Most of the time anything beyond that was a blur. 

That tended to happen when the dreams had no base in reality. Back in the waking world some sixty years ago, they had met during wartime. They had shared kisses and promises and hearts, but that was all. Everything else they’d tried to save until peace. But he’d gone MIA long before that.

That was the problem with war. When you were in it, you had to tell yourself it was going to end soon. It would end and you’d be back with your girl with plenty of time to get married and raise kids. You’d get a new job and buy a house and live that damned American Dream that you’d spent so long fighting for. It didn’t matter if you didn’t have a family to go back to at the moment ‘cause soon enough the war’d be done and you could make your own. You just had to believe – it was the American Way.

It was only after you went home that you realized the war was never over. There was always someone else to fight, people to save, more moral high ground to be won. And that was if you made it home at all. Steve wasn’t sure he had. Some nights he imagined he was dead, frozen on ice again or cut down fighting Hydra. Some nights he wished that were true. 

It was the dreams that kept him going. It felt good to rest his weary head knowing that she was waiting. And she’d be there, either in her army suit or her smart-looking dresses. Once she even showed up in blue jeans, dragging him by the hand towards a ride at the carnival. 

In the best dream he’d ever had, she’d been wearing white. Steve wasn’t sure how his subconscious had come up with that – maybe it was because he’d been to Thor’s wedding a few weeks before. 

Peggy made a beautiful bride. The antique white lace had set off her dark hair. Her dress was long and modest, like the old photographs of his mother’s. Yet Peggy was also wearing her classic four-inch heels, necessitated by his post-serum height. She’d also made her lips a fascinatingly bright red. Although what was really captivating about that was her smile, the happiest he’d ever seen. Even her eyes twinkled from it. He could barely contain his own goofy grin.

“You are my light, my guide, my friend and my partner,” she said, “And I promise to share with you all of the days of my life.”

Then it was the kiss, the sigh of her lips against his. It was a seal, swearing that if he played his cards right, he could kiss those lips every day for the rest of his life. 

But that dream, like the rest, broke under the light of dawn. After sixty years asleep, Steve tended to rest fitfully. The dreams were gorgeous, but his hours were short.

When he woke, the first thing he did was search for her. It began with a reaching hand thrown desperately across his empty king sized bed, although Peggy and he had never shared a set of sheets. Then some nights he would call out, his voice cracked and low. There was never any answer. Occasionally he’d even stumble to his feet before full consciousness, convinced she was somewhere nearby, that he could reach her if he ran.

Eventually, his mind would catch up. It was the future. The 10’s, not the 40’s. She wasn't here. She never would be. And Steve would lie awake inside his SHIELD-supplied apartment, ruminating, as the last whispers of her ghosted across his skin. Funny, smart, lovely Peggy - gone.

The problem was, it ended with the dreams.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to try writing a little one-shot for Steve and Peggy because thinking about how it all ended for them, I can't imagine him getting over her was easy. It would be so hard to lose everything the way he did.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little drabble. I'm thinking about doing one from Peggy's perspective next because it must've been pretty hard for her being left behind as well.


End file.
